In the well-beaten path of conventional tech writing, we inevitably see descriptions of devices with adjectives like “innovative”, forward-looking”, and “nifty”, but that was before this editor saw this device. Fashioned by Jamie O’Shea of the “Office for the Development of Substitute Materials”, this prosthetic/accessory set for the pedestrian who’s always in danger of falling asleep on his/her feet allows for a vertical sleeping arrangement, and is naturally called “The Vertical Bed”.

Presented at the Conflux Festival held in New York City last September 11 to 14, a gathering of artists experimenting with concepts in an urban environment, the Vertical Bed is designed “for the visual performance of an alternate way of occupying urban space” – as quoted directly from the artist’s description. In other words, it mimics how the urban landscape is growing upwards, primarily to save space. Of course in the case of the Vertical Bed, saving space isn’t the only purpose, going to sleep nearly anywhere with a “rigid mount” is also important.

To facilitate this function, the setup includes some devices that will isolate the user from the (inevitably) hostile surroundings of the city streets of New York (or any outdoor, urban space for that matter). These devices include double mirrored sunglasses to keep the glare out, noise cancelling headphones to which you can optionally connect an MP3 player, and an attachable umbrella for those little drizzles. Everything else in the kit is for attaching yourself to a convenient spot, like a miniature impact driver for mounting the harness, expansion bolts, poles, harnesses, and even some dress shoes with bolting plates attached to it.

While this device may make public displays of slumber acceptable, make sure you don’t drool. Or snore. I’m not sure if there’s a public ordinance against these natural bodily err… functions, but passersby probably won’t pass up the chance to snigger and point while you boldly change the fabric of our society’s increasingly crowded, vertically-inclined cityscape. Most importantly, consider that you’ll make a tempting target for any opportunist looking for a passive and unaware victim, and you can’t get more passive and unaware than when you’re sleeping. Unless the setup includes a burglar alarm.

So as a concept, this setup is certainly innovative. It most certainly is also nifty as well, for anyone who want to make a statement for example, or wants to subscribe to the concept of a “vertically mobile” lifestyle. But forward-looking? Perhaps so, if the scale of time it is referring to is one where a perfectly safe city with no hoodlums and no sniggers can be seen. Which is the point of the whole “concept” exercise – an exploration of future possibilities which just so happens also incorporates the social aspects of the populace in this writer’s opinion. So set it up, bolt yourself into place, and lean back to sleep – drag along an able-bodied friend to watch your back for the time being.